You can sell ANYTHING on the internet...

So, I was doing god-knows-what on the internet, and my eye was caught by one of the those damned advertisements on the side of the webpage.   I'm not even sure what site it was on, it's not like I look at veggie porn...

Magic Veggie Set

Check it out - you can CUT them using the little plastic knife.  You have to cut them on the little cutting board, which is ironic, since how much damage can that little plastic knife do?

Just in case the image alone didn't sell you on this product, the description might:

"An incredibly fun toy for the young at heart, this imported Japanese set allows you to cut and re-cut vegetables endlessly on a mini cutting board. We think this would make an amazing coffee table centerpiece – who needs a book when there are cool toys?"

Since when is cutting vegetables FUN?  Yes, I do so love the idea of cutting and recutting endlessly (mindlessly?).  In fact, that is the very definition of fun to me!  How is this possibly considered a toy?!!?  The smiling veggies do make me happy, though. I am kind of thinking about getting set.

Magnet Set

This cracks me up.

I like Carol. :)

Staple free Cat Stapler
(it works by MAGIC!)

First of all, what the hell IS it???  It says it's a cat. It doesn't really look like a cat. It looks more like an uncircumcised... stapler...

It has no staples.  Doesn't that make it a Paper Fastener?  A stapler, by definition, STAPLES.  This object does not. It just sits there looking all creepy and pink and uncircumcised. I do not want to buy one of these, their advertising has failed.  I don't care if it does attach paper by MAGIC.

Ulcer

So, if you weren't enticed by the magic veggies, or the bitter man-hating Carol magnet, OR the non-stapler stapler, perhaps this is up your alley:

It's a huggable version of the bacteria that causes ulcers.  Friendly and cuddly, isn't it? WTH??  Why, why, why would someone make that into a stuffed toy intended to be given as a gift? What kind of nice message can you possibly send with it? Maybe it's meant for gifts employees can give their bosses.  Or that bosses can give their employees... who knows.  I think it's just proof you can sell anything on the internet.

I have to go clear a spot on my coffee table for the magic veggie set....